Entry: its too soon for me to say forgive 12.11.2005



hopeless love, why did you carve your home in me?
this broken heart is too weak to hold your weight <3

i wish i came with a warning
label me: weak. i'm begging you.
and i'm the best with bad news,
bringing liars to their knees.

&& i don't even trust myself
BUT I LOVE YOU
and you can pull my wings apart
and pin me down under glass
until the end of days.

"I just don't feel the same way i did..."
he's trying to make sense.
he's trying to justify what he's saying and somehow
make it okay.
but all the excuses & all the pity smiles he will give me
from today on...
WON'T STOP THE HURT.

"all you need is love" is a lie 'cause
we had love, but we still said goodbye
now we're tired battered fighters.

i never wanted to lose you.
but a cold heart is a dead heart
and it feels like i've been buried alive by love.

and i'm so overwhelmed
everything that rests upon my shoulders fell
i would like to tell anyone who has to depended on me for themselves..
i'm sorry.

Oh, its a picture of perfection
and the postcards gonna read
fuck yeah we can live like this
we can live like this...

I'm writing love letters
TO A LOST BOY
who's too cute for words
with a mind that could
crush a young girl's heart.

and i'd run there  ;
but my knees are weak
and my body needs to be
close to you sometime soon

any moment might be our last.
Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed.
you will never be lovelier than you are now.
we will never be here again.

it's breathing down your neck;
           you know
  you've got to let this go
  you're such a wreck <3
  & now it starts to show

i remember driving in your car
the speed so fast it felt like i was drunk
city lights lay out before us.
your arms felt nice wrapped around my shoulder
and i had a feeling that i belonged.
i had a feeling...i could be somebody.

the things we never said...
but we always knew were right there.
it's got me on my knees in a bathroom
praying to a god i dont even believe in.
"dear jesus, are you listening?
if this is the one chance that really matters...
dont let me fuck this up"

let's talk about spaceships.
or anything.
except you and me
okay?
okay.

she said, if i loved you
and knew that you loved me
i would turn heaven and earth upside down to find you
no, he said. no one loves that much
and yet, if i loved you, i would move mountains
if they kept me from you <3

keep that sweet heart of yours
        beating
    i'll be right here

i traveled east -->
&& i traveled west <--
and i found a boy..
with a heart on his chest
i ran a ground ;;
my ship left to rust
yes, i found a guide
in the city of lust.

things i ask myself, i ask myself
do you know what you're getting yourself into?
i'm getting into you
because you got to me
in a way words can't describe
i'm getting into you
because i've got to be...
you're essential to survive

did i think too far ahead for us?
did i give you a part of me too soon
must i have regrets?
if i lose you i don't think that i could go on
i don't think that i could go on without you
is there more that you have to say?
could you be content just to have me
maybe we'll get through this

have you ever seen someone..
and known that they owned you
before they even spoke.

I HOPE TO GOD.
i mean a little more than the sounds
that escape your tired 4 AM lips




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